Secret Service

A crack team of secret agents have taken over the city’s fanciest Italian restaurant for a daring sting operation… their mission? Entrap and apprehend Viviana Scarlotta, Canada’s most notorious hitwoman…

They’ve only got one problem.

Harry Marsden, career waiter and the restaurant’s newest hire, has his first shift today and didn’t get the memo that all his new co-workers have been replaced by undercover federal agents. Likewise, our elite team of spies has no idea that Harry isn’t their backup, already deep undercover…

As a chaotic flurry of mistaken identity threatens to derail the mission, our intrepid spies will have to get Harry onside and their top secret operation back on track before Viviana’s six o’clock reservation… while the listless Harry, pushing forty and unfulfilled waiting tables, discovers that helping take down a dangerous international woman of mystery might be just the thing he needs to realize his true potential.

Secret Service is an high-octane action-comedy about international intrigue, the glory and toil of the service industry, and realizing you’re more than just your job.

Staging Requirements

RUNTIME: 2 acts, 90 minutes.

CAST: Five actors, 3 male roles, 2 female roles.

ONE INTERIOR SET

Press

“Secret Service blends misunderstandings, undercover operations, and marinara sauce into a theatrical meal sure to satisfy… The show is a classic farce, with no greater ambition than to leave its audience in stitches as the misunderstandings escalate and the plot unravels.”

Mike Renzella, the Haldimand Press

“It’s no secret: Secret Service at Lighthouse Festival is one of the best shows I have seen in 9 years of attending shows at this local gem of professional live theatre! I think I may have developed the slight beginnings of abs from laughing so hard. 100/10 recommend you make it to Lighthouse to see this show, and if your whole group can’t make it on the same night, consider going twice- it is THAT GOOD!”

Robynn Beazley, patron (via Instagram)

“This play is outrageously funny. Ephraim has taken the spoof-spy genre and crafted it through a uniquely Canadian lens. Wildly theatrical, with characters straight out of both James Bond and Get Smart, the play is fast-paced, clever and delightfully unpredictable. Audiences are going to laugh from start to finish.”

David Leyshon, director of the World Premiere production of ‘Secret Service’

Production History

• Lighthouse Festival Theatre, July 2026 (World Premiere)